I love you..

'Nothing is impossible'..this phrase is just so true.. Someone that you respect a lot... Whom you think he or she is your Idol.. Always stand firm with his or her own thought, proven to everyone that he or she can do whatever he or she can do without any help.. Will also change.. Why? This is because this is life? you would not know.. how much a person can change due to the influences from the people around you.. Isnt this just so sad? Why? So this is how human beings like? hmm..i just feel so sad...To see or to know a family, end up like that..

Heart pain... to know you need someone around, but i couldnt be around you to at least give you a hug...

Heart pain... to know that you are sad, but i couldnt help

Heart pain... to see you cry, but i can only cry with you..cause i feel you...

Heart pain... to know that you are unhappy all this while...

Heart pain... that i didnt understand...



But just so you know... I love you... I really love you so...from the bottom of my heart... Please be strong... because i will give you my strength to keep you strong... i will give you my hand... when you need a hand to hold... and i will always be by your side...no matter what... forgive me.. when you need someone to understand how you feel, and im not able to be there to understand... but please remember that, when you need someone to listen to you... i will always be your loyal listener, whom will never ever leave you alone...

Gloomy Day

Woke up in the morning... feeling something blocking my sight... then i remembered last night i cried myself to sleep... looking out the window...it's gloomy and windy.... Tried to forget what had happened... i switched on my laptop..checking mail... and scrabble...then..off to shower... ?He called... speaking like nothing has happened... this fact made me feel even worse... i shed my tears...

The sky starting to rain... and this is the first time i see lightning and thunder in Uk although lots of times i see rain..but not thunder and lightning... Gloomy sky...gloomy me.. *tears drop* Chatting with my dearest jo... i was strong throughout the conversation... until she told me something...burst into tears.. tears just automatically roll down to my cheeks... i hate the fact 'guys always like tat' but wth? like...'everyone is doing that... tak kan i dont do the same too' wth is this? then where are those 'i must do something for her... i must do something to prove?' where the hell does all these gone to? have you ever thought of 'i must do something for her' instead of 'everyone is doing the same.. so you want to do the same thing also'?



i love to hide myself in the shower when im down... let the water flow away my tears... i love to cry in the rain... cause my tears will be gone along with the rain drops... whenever i want to stop my tears... i have a bad habit... to bite... myself... im so like 'the ants are crawling all over my flesh' now... i feel like..want to tear myself down... =( oh gosh... what had happened to me..?

Promise

Complicated feelings today.. secure...insecure... comfortable...uncomfortable... happy...sad... lonely...


Promise? what is a promise to you? promise is a statement that you have made, you meant it, and you keep it.. Why do people promise, but it meant to be broken? Why do people promise, if it's just not what he or she means? Promise isnt a statement to make just to avoid from something or not to see someone sad, but really meant it... Do you know, it is even hurt after you have promised and it is broken in the end..?

Feelings.. you said i have expected it, but i just wish what i have expected isnt true... how i wish you will tell me proudly that you have made it... you can do it... But the answer turned out to be..what i expected is true... i always proud that you can finally make it... but no..

again and again i cried... there is always a point for me to forgive you... but in the end...it just ends with tears....

01.07.2009

Woke up like 7 + in the morning..but lazed on the bed until 11+am, woke up.. the first thing appeared in my mind was 'what to do for the rest of the day' .. was thinking to tidy up the room, as i have moved to a new house, new room, but still nothing in the room is tidy except for my bed. =) Brushed my teeth, and washed my face. Switched on the laptop and checked on my mails and so on.. Chatted with Baby in msn and then off to shower.. Had tuna spread and bread for brunch until now.. 2.36am (02.07.2009) thought to have my dinner, but dont feel like want to eat but now i feel angry, =) again..i dont feel like want to eat.. feeling sleepy and down... i dont know why... i just felt so so down..

Finally took the clothes out from the luggages, folded them nicely and put them into the drawers and hangers. Will continue with the rest (documents, books, cables, etc) tomorrow.. You tube in the afternoon until the evening, listened to quite a lot of songs, well, nice songs.. =) but all sad songs... lol... hmm... well... nothing much to say about today... just... wanted to begin my new blog as i have already had this blog for like... a few months and yet.. the first entry is today.. lol... no pictures for today, will upload pictures when the room is ready and nicely decorated. tara..~! bye for now..Goodnight everyone.

*sinjet hopes she feels better when she wakes up later...*