ants crawling all over me..

i love the phrase
'If someone make you cry, Cry a River, Build a Bridge and Get over It'

this phrase not only for lovers, but also..friends and family, or perhaps, someone whom bullied you.. dont be afraid, be strong, stand up on your own.. you can survive..and be happy

received an email from the hotel, and they told me that i will start my work at the first week of December, but i wish to start earlier as I don't have anything to do.. and of course, money is another issue.. everything is about money.. why not? food, billings, traveling fees.. pity baby has to lend me a lot of money these 2 months.. i really wish i can return the money to him as soon as possible.. and i really wish i can finally have my own money... then i dont have to worry that i have used too much cause they are mine.

I hate the feeling that when i know there is a problem, and i really wish that i could have solved it, but i cant.. not now... not immediately..

There was once I thought that my parents are the best whom knew me for who I am.. but in their heart, I am just their daughter whom used all the money that they have given to me, and I only know how to waste money. Yes I know I have been using so much from the past, but then again, I am not the daughter I used to be.

I hate this feeling inside of me now.. It's undescribale, unexplainable.. Crying inside of me...